Thursday, October 4, 2012

is it weird...?

I still don't like to talk about it.  Leighton's open heart surgery that is.  It has been on my mind lately.  If it comes up I play it off like no big deal, and it was kind of a blip on the radar.  It was over so quick, in and out.  It was so huge at the same time.  So stressful, the hardest thing I've ever done was hand my baby over and then that 6 hours in the waiting room. I hate when I stumble upon pictures of it.  Even the happier healthy ones. Today I swear I saw her heart surgeon at the store.  Which would be so weird because what the heck would he be doing hanging around down south (but it really looked like him).  It's an experience that is burned upon my mind.  We see her Cardiologist tomorrow, and is it weird I worry? Everything should be fine, no ones said it's still murmuring.  We have been told this should be her last appointment. No more heart worries for years to come, 
but I still can't believe it yet.

So if surgery comes up and I'm like it was no big deal...well really it was, and maybe I still relive those days (have  PTSD about it) sometimes.  So cross those fingers, and say some prayers for Leighton and Me.  

If you think this is why having a Ds baby isn't worth it though, well your wrong.  It was only so hard because we love her so much.  I would do anything for this little one. If a wuss like me can make it through so could you. 
The love is so big how could you not..

1 comment:

  1. Ugh I can't imagine. Super scary! So glad she's doing so good now though. Good luck at the cardiologist!