Friday, February 3, 2012

a day in my life

Sometimes I wish certain negative people got to spend a day in my life, and in my heart.  I have been hearing lately about people who tell Mom's with Ds kids that there life will be like "this" or "that" it will be horrible, and hard.  They wonder how you could find love, or happiness with these kids.  They can't look past the negative assumptions,  or the medical issues. They think if we're not sitting here dwelling on the negative saying this is horrible, hard, and the worst then we are lying.  We're not showing you all aspects. Sometimes I wonder if I'm missing something with Leighton.  Am I the one refusing to take off my rose colored glasses. I know plenty of Mom's with older Ds kids and they all say things like.....This is my best behaving child, Oh my gosh your so lucky! I have a Ds child too and He's 35 doing this amazing thing! Aren't they the best, My brother with Ds is in college now, and he served a mission. Of course I'm like YES, YES, YES! I have so much to hope for with Leighton.  
 So let's get to the truth.  Do I have days where I want to shut myself in my house because I have just been to the cardiologist and I found out my baby girl will be getting open heart surgery this spring. Yep! Sometimes I just think of it and I get a little depressed. It's no different then when any other Mom gets this type of news about her regular Chromosome count child.  Should I focus on the fact she might get Leukemia, go deaf, be teased by others?  What does focusing on that do for me? Nobody judges the fact that I don't do that with my other kids. I could go insane with the things I can imagine happening to my other kids as well. Let's be honest sometimes I do go there, and it's not fun. With my kids I need to live in the moment, and not always focus on the WHAT IF'S.  So for the moment we are focusing on getting her heart well.  Celebrating all the babble she does, sitting up, flailing her arms and legs while giggling when daddy gets home at night.  We are enjoying kissing her, making her laugh, dressing her adorable, playing with her, and clapping at her new milestones.  

 Why shouldn't she have dreams,  and talents to discover and cultivate. She needs her Mama to focus on the positive.  I believe she can accomplish things no one would expect.  So stop it you negative Ned's. Just because were finding joy in what has happened doesn't mean were pulling the wool over your eyes.   Us special needs mama's are not blind to the things that can happen.  We know better then anyone about the hard road up ahead. You don't have to understand it, but keep the negative to yourself because it doesn't help anyone.  Come on! Is it really that hard to believe our little family loves this girl? I get to wake up to this smile EVERYDAY! 
 I mean every single morning I come to her crib and I see that same face. Poor me. I truly feel its just an extra chromosome of awesomeness?