Leighton’s 4 months! Wow that’s gone fast. I think every day, it’s so good your growing so well, but also STOP! She’s the best baby, and it’s flying bye. My husband and I ran into someone we knew yesterday that made me think about this post. He told us he had a job for a company that makes items that help developmentally delayed children. So my husband said cool our new little baby has DS, so she might need some of that stuff. I could tell from his face he just didn’t know how to react, and he didn’t say anything. When we first had LC I had to consistently remind myself to be patient with people. They didn’t know what to say or how to react, and also I tried to remember what I would have said before I knew what it was like. Now I would say aren’t we so lucky? These little DS babies are the BEST!! Sorry to admit it but sometimes I feel sorry for people that don’t get to have one. Her doctors tell me they want to steal her all the time, and I’m like No way she’s all mine, and when her siblings hear this they get overly protective. During the first weeks I had her I would keep her car seat cover over her because I couldn’t deal with the ways some people reacted when we had her. I felt like I needed to protect her and me from the pity. When people would act sorry for me I would take it personally like they thought something was grotesquely wrong with my child, and it hurt. Over the weeks I realized more often then not people couldn’t even tell, and they thought she was pretty perfect too and comment about how pretty she was. Now when I am out and I can tell someone sees she has it, I will notice that look of pity (poor baby, or poor Mom look), and I just smile at them and think if you only knew. I just look at them like I’m proud of her, she is so cute huh? My husband and I have learned not to really talk about it because it makes others feel awkward. We aren’t embarrassed of it. We are obsessed with her. She’s our little ball cuteness, but we know not everyone knows what to say and we’re getting used to it. It was a big shock when we had her, but we have picked ourselves back up and every day is better then the one before. Life goes on, and we’re even happier then before LC was born. It’s funny cause before I have my babies and when I’m lying there with my big belly trying to imagine life with this new child I can’t do it. Now that I have my new little girl I can’t imagine life without her, I don’t even try because it hurts to bad.
-JS
I have to say that I am most likely one of those people who have put my foot in my mouth more than once . . . I have never pitied you or your family, but I was frightened when her birth was so scary, I wanted to offer love & support when you guys didn't know what health concerns she would have, & when we all just wanted to hold her but she was getting tests done, I have hurt with you when you have felt the need to protect her, I have hurt for saying the wrong things and knowing that others would too, and I have worried over her health, over the long nights w/ her in the NICU. . . & I have cried w/ a broken heart when you two were apart... But I HAVE to tell you & everyone how amazing she is! She just touches everyone's heart! And just like any good thing, all that uncertainty in the beginning has been more than worth it just to bring her to this family... (I know I'm just extended family, but that's how I feel about her! I love you all so much) The thing that sucks is that (like anything unique) people truly just do not know what DS is like, or what your experience is like. . . It's so true, how lucky we are! We get to love her and grow with you guys, we get to experience life on such a broader scale because of her. I agree with your attitude, if only people really knew her- they would have pity for themselves and not for your family or her. . . (sorry this is so long)
ReplyDeleteI think Steven needs to hold her next time we are together. He says all the time that he doesn't handle stress well. She sounds like a stress reliever in a way. I enjoy reading your posts. She is a sweetie! I sometimes worry about saying things to people in different situations than me, not because I want to offend them. But because I am afraid they will take what I say in the wrong way. Thanks for sharing.
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